I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
