david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
