I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
