who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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