At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize