She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Randomize
