Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
