dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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