i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
