sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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