are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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