What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
