just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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