Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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