I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
