Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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