You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
