Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
