Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize