nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
