so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
