I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
