On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
