you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
