i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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