i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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