Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
