I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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