I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
