It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize