ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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