If i come over, it means nothing
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize