If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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