I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
