Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
