I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize