No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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