i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
