i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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