chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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