i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I love having hate sex.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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