idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
