She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have already put on my inside pants.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize