I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
