He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
