Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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