just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
