I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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