Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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