Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
