I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
