Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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