I just cut my nipple shaving
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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