I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize