Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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