super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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