I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
