Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
