i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
