Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
