yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
