all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
