just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
