Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
