They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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