a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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