I love black thongs
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
