So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
